Thereâs a new concept, The 4 Workplace Conversations, which came out of a recent client case study from facilitating a training session to help a senior leadership team of a clients confront issues directly in a way that reduced workplace conflict.
This workplace communication model is celebrating its one-year anniversary this month. Itâs application has an even deeper one than originally realized.
You may want to revisit the original article with this graphic representation of The 4 Workplace Conversations model to get a general understanding. This article will focus on the conversation causing the biggest challenge in workplaces today.
You will find it represented in the lower right quadrant of the model, identified as The Wrong Conversation with the Right Person.
There are two primary ways The Wrong Conversation with the Right Person plays out in the workplace.
One is the âhijackedâ conversation and the other is the âelephant in the roomâ conversation. Conceptually, you may be more familiar with the latter than the former, although chances are you have experienced both in your workplace communication.
Hijacked Conversations
These situations occur in two contexts. One is where an individual is speaking with a superior with a very strong personality, communication style, and agenda.
Often, the subordinate feels intimidated, so despite having a strong need and desire to discuss a certain topic, they allow the superior to control the conversation.
When this occurs, the subordinate leaves without having been able to neither make their point(s), nor get their workplace needs met, and they become frustrated and confused about their value to the organization.
The other context is on the other side of workplace performance. This is where someone is speaking with a subordinate or a peer about his or her individual performance, behavior or actions in need of correction. It may be the âconstructive feedbackâ type of conversation.
Whichever it is, what occurs here is that the other person in conversation goes on a rambling tangent of blame, excuses and distraction.
Some are so good at this âwrong conversationâ it creates uncertainty about what really occurred, creating so much confusion you decide to walk away without resolution.
Both of these âwrong conversationsâ are missed opportunities because the work up to the conversation takes a lot of time and energy. Sometimes getting the conversation on the calendar of the âright personâ is a long time developing.
Once that appointment is complete, both sides assume the conversation that was supposed to take place, has, and revisiting it becomes difficult.
I call these âcredibility and confidence killing conversationsâ because the person who does not get to make their point is at risk of losing credibility with the right person, while also reconciling in their own mind what happened. Often, these conversations cause a questioning of confidence and damage self-esteem.
The Elephant in the Room
The other âwrong conversation with the right personâ is when the right people are in the room, aware of situations that need addressing but due to the sensitivity of the topic and fear of reactions, the topic is ignored or avoided.
These, like the hijacked conversations, are missed opportunities.
The more one coaches, consults and trains organizational leaders and their employees on workplace communication, the more prevalent you find these âwrong conversations.â
These âwrong conversations with the right personâ are very difficult to identify and often, people do not even realize the wrong conversation is taking place until itâs too late.
Republished by permission. Original here.
Communication Photo via Shutterstock